Finding Peace in The Journey

It's been a little over a month since our last update on our journey toward parenthood. Let us just say how wonderful people have been about the whole thing! Immediately following the post we were flooded with stories from people in all different walks of life. Some were from family members, some from very old friends and others from acquaintances or complete strangers. When writing the post together, we did it more as a therapeutic gesture for ourselves than for anything else. As we have researched other couples' adoption profiles and heard success stories of couples who finally got their baby, it was surprising how often people are just literally handed a baby. One couple that we saw online, her dad was a branch president and one day a girl brought a baby to the door step for his daughter, who had been contemplating adoption with her husband. A story from a friend is similar; when her dad was a bishop, a girl knocked on his door with a baby in her arms. The bishop's son (my friend's brother) had been trying for years for a child and when this young girl delivered her baby, he had been visiting with the dad. They knew instantly who the baby was intended for ... the son/brother and his wife. So although it does sound a little crazy, we are kind of just thinking something like this will happen for us. To help that along, we will continue to post and pray for guidance. (That is until we have $25,000+ saved to go through an adoption agency.)

Another lesson we have learned since posting is that not everyone is meant to adopt. It is clearly a calling set out for certain people. We have been questioned by so many on why we would even consider adoption when we have not completely exhausted all of our options (whether they know we have or not). It is with a grain of salt that we listen to everyone's "cure all" for us to conceive on our own. We have had acquaintances that are sure they can help us conceive through purchasing and using their all natural herbal products or Doterra oils. Others who know the right doctor who has helped them. Invetro is the cure for so many. It is so sweet that people want to make sure we know about their success stories, but we know for certain that those things will not work for us to conceive our own children.

Even before getting the last test results, we both have had the strongest feeling that "If God wanted us to get pregnant, we would." Which still may very well happen someday. But for now we are comforted in knowing that we have spent thousands of dollars and countless months of test results to show the Lord our strongest effort and desire to become parents. There is a very small percent of fertility issues that fall under the "without explanation" category (2%-5%). The doctors now know that the fertility issues that fall under this category are typically autoimmune issues. The problem could be that my body is attacking it's own cells OR the problem could be that my body is attacking the cells of my husband. (on top of other issues like insulin resistance and endometriosis)
To describe our situation in the words of Jeff, "So we can pay $2,000 MORE to find out which route we have to save for?!" Meaning, we could spend a couple thousand dollars on more tests to find out whether I'm attacking myself or attacking my husband. From there we would be able to try more medications, more tests and experimental procedures. Which may or may not lead us to invetro type options or a surrogate. So... for now we are taking a break from fertility treatments and further tests.

Although it seems like we are constantly answering questions about our "family status" when it comes to fertility, it's really not something we worry too much about. As we get close to our five year anniversary, we could be like other couples who delete their Facebook or cry at the sight of anything BABY ... but that is not us. We are super duper happy with our doggie son Jake and the wonderful relationship we have as husband and wife. We know that we have been given a major blessing in having these wonderful years of marriage together to travel and really find ourselves. Instead of dwelling on what we are "missing" in comparison to majority of other families, we are embracing the opportunity for our own growth. We have left so many things hanging in the balance. As we have been waiting for the time when we will be parents, it has held us back in some aspects, from fully enjoying ourselves and being successful in our careers and other endeavors.

We do look forward to the day when we will be able to hold our child in our arms, but for now we are going to focus on what we can control and better ourselves for when that day comes.

We are so grateful for all of the support we have been given and will continue to share our adventures with you!