What most of you don't know is the ongoing story of our struggles. Trials are always a little harder to share than the lighthearted fairytales, which is why we haven't shared this story with many.
This September marks our 5th wedding anniversary. Our desire to grow our eternal family soon followed our sealing in the St. George temple that beautiful September day of 2009. Neither of us could have expected what was in store with the battle of infertility.
Those who haven't experienced this battle, can't fully understand the sorrow it can bring. You begin to wonder why God doesn't trust you with one of his children or why so many children are born into broken homes when you could provide a loving, Christ-centered home. Your faith can definitely be tested and your testimony strengthened.
Our journey has come to a crossroads of waiting vs. action. We've been waiting and taking actions only to be steered in a new direction. Doctors visits, tests, medications, counting days on a calendar over and over until before you know it ... four full years have passed with few answers. Luckily after the first two years people kind of recognize this sensitive subject and no longer ask when we're having a baby.
For the past few months we've been praying and researching the path of adoption. We saw what a difference we made in our amazing dog's life by providing him a home. Why not provide that same type of love and care to a child? Days after our intake interview with LDS Family Services, it was made known that they would be discontinuing their adoption services. This really put us in shock because we felt we had finally made a decision just so see that happen days after. Although there are still options available for adoption, it has complicated this route for us.
We have been really blessed to have this trial strengthen our marriage in ways we did not think possible. On the day we were married I didn't think I could love someone so much ... but now I wonder what the heck I was thinking love even was!
So here we are now at two unknown roads.
Road #1: Do we continue to visit the fertility specialist, paying for test after test that may or may not provide the answers we desperately seek?
Road #2: Do we continue our search for the baby we felt so strongly was out there waiting for us to adopt?
Although we still have a long road ahead of us no matter the path we take, we know that the spirit is leading us and eventually we will have the overwhelming joy of parenthood. As for now, we will continue moving forward with faith, focusing on bettering ourselves through serving others.
We felt strongly about sharing our story at this time. Perhaps it is meant for someone specific who is going through a struggle of their own to help them know they are not alone or perhaps by some chance someone reading this post knows someone who knows someone that is looking for the right couple for their baby.
This is our journey.
-Jeff & Bobbie
We felt strongly about sharing our story at this time. Perhaps it is meant for someone specific who is going through a struggle of their own to help them know they are not alone or perhaps by some chance someone reading this post knows someone who knows someone that is looking for the right couple for their baby.
This is our journey.
-Jeff & Bobbie
Sorry if this is a duplicate comment. A friend shared your blog link with me on Facebook. I was interested because we have also struggled with infertility. I recently wrote about our experience on my blog with the hope that it could help someone else. I was surprised how much the act of writing actually helped me. You are welcome to read about it at http://twodozencookies.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-journey-begins.html The story continues through most of the January posts. Feel free to share and good luck with your journey.
ReplyDeleteLove you Bobbie!! I hope you recieve all the answers and love and hope you are looking for.
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